North (1994)

Woof!  Rob Reiner's first dog of his directing career stars Elijah Wood
as a well-to-do 11-year-old who decides that he's tired of his
unappreciative parents.  The inexplicably named North finds a lawyer,
declares himself a "free agent," and begins traveling the world for a
pair of "perfect" parents.

The super-huge cast is a super-waste.  NORTH stars Jason Alexander,
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Bruce Willis, Jon Lovitz, Alan Arkin, Dan Aykroyd,
Reba McEntire, Faith Ford, John Ritter, and, get this, Kathy Bates,
Graham Greene, and Abe Vigoda (!) as a trio of Eskimos.  Yow!  Believe
it or not, only Willis emerges unscathed and that's no small feat from a
man who has buried more than one movie himself!

Frankly, nearly everything that can go wrong in this film, does.
Period.  NORTH is not funny; NORTH is not charming; NORTH isn't even
interesting.

Don't.  Waste.  Your. Time.

Grade: D-