Windows to the Soul

By Michael J. Legeros

The people they call They say that the eyes are the windows to the
soul.  I disagree.  Call me a kook-- okay, you're a kook-- but I'd
argue *bulletin boards* over optical outlets.  You, know those rec-
tangular corkboards that all too commonly occupy our kitchens, rec
rooms, home offices, and work offices.  Those poster-sized pin cush-
ions that overfloweth with nick-nacks, bric-a-brac, and cluttered
"chochkis."  Really, short of actually getting to *know* someone,
is there a better glimpse into a person's private world than to pour
over their not-so-private collection of pins, patches, punctured
photos, nastily snipped newspaper clippings, and treasured tacky
tourist souvenirs?  Well, unless they have a kick-ass Web page, I
suppose...

Here's some of what's on *my* bulletin board at the house.

What's on yours?


  o newspaper-clipped chart of the leading causes of death in
    the United States in 1989.  In order: heart disease, can-
    cer, stroke, accidents, chronic lung diseases, pneumonia
    and influenza, diabetes, suicide, liver disease and cirr-
    hosis, and homicides and "legal interventions"

  o magazine-clipped quote "what makes a man a really great
    lover is the way he talks to you, the way he looks into
    your eyes and *listens* to what you have to say so that
    you feel really *seen* by that man"

  o transcribed lyrics to the "Happy Anniversary" song from
    "The Flintstones."  Sample:  "Happy he and happy she are
    both as happy as can be; celebrating merrily their happy
    anniversary!"

  o transcribed quote used in TOM JONES: "Happy the man and
    happy he alone; he who can call today his own.  He who
    secure within can say, tomorrow do thy worse for I have
    lived today"

  o non-business business card of mine with paraphrased Ben
    Franklin used in GONE WITH THE WIND:  "Do not squander
    time, that is the stuff life is made of"

  o birthday card-clipped photo of delivery man in blue over-
    alls, ball cap, and cigarette, delivering enormous cake
    on push cart.  Name on tag: "Buddy"

  o Newspaper-clipped chart of the ABCD's for identifying
    cancerous moles.  In order:  Asymmetry, Border, Color,
    and Diameter

  o AC/DC key chain and bottle opener, included as part of
    box set honoring singer who died of alcohol poisoning

  o tie-tying chart, with the following knot instruction:
    Windsor, Half-Windsor, Four-in-Hand, and Bow-Tie

  o black and white picture of fraud suspect, at the time
    wanted for selling fake band instruments

  o One dollar of AC/DC currency, promoting their single
    "Money Talks."  Not for legal tender

  o newspaper-clipped listing of divorces granted in Guilford
    County, NC on December 30, 1991

  o photo pin from "Married with Children."  Word balloons:
    "Al, I feel like"  "I don't!"

  o postcard of Bart Simpson dressed as an Army general. Word
    balloon: "War is hell, man"

  o postcard of man lying in hospital bed, frightened by liz-
    ard standing on stomach

  o slightly blurry photo of Raleigh's Truck #16 responding
    down Lead Mine Road

  o flyer for phone sex, received as response to personal ad
    some years back

  o photo of Yours Truly standing next to Durham's old Snor-
    kel #1

  o magazine-clipped photo of Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal
    Lecter

  o First Night buttons from 1993, 1994, 1997, and 1998

  o photo of Raleigh fire captain, at retirement party

  o House of Blues button, from the Sunset Strip club

  o small sticker: "You say tomato, I say f*** you"

  o close-up photo of friend, watchin' me

  o Raleigh Fire Department patch

  o iron-on Judas Priest patch

  o tiny green lizard (fake)

  o photo of old girlfriend

  o Three Stooges pin


Copyright 2000 by Michael J. Legeros