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Living Hell - Volume #1, Issue #11
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September 16, 2001
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Contents
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o FDNY Fatalities
o Helping Firefighters
o How To Be An Idiot, Part 1
o Memo to Tom Brokow et al
o How To Be An Idiot, Part 2
o Things We Feared
FDNY Firefighters
=================
Confirmed list of Fire Department New York fatalities, updated as
soon as possible after updates from firehouse.com:
[ Outdated link deleted ]
Helping Firefighters
====================
Banners, ribbons, fundraisers, and flags. Prayers, condolences,
and moments of silence. Bowed heads and renewed respect. But if
you *really* wanna help firefighters-- both in New York and in the
rest of the world-- here's a simple gift that can be given over a
lifetime: get out of the damn way. When driving, when meeting a
fire truck en route to a call, let *it* have the right-of-way. In
1999, notes the National Fire Protection Association (NFPA), 32 of
112 fatal firefighter injuries occurred while responding to or re-
turning from an incident. And isn't their job dangerous enough al-
ready? Plus, do you really want *yours* to be the car that delays
firefighters for those final fifteen seconds that a trapped child
could've been successfully rescued and resuscitated? Think about
it.
How To Be An Idiot, Part 1
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Make generalizations about people based on the actions of a few.
Memo to Tom Brokow et al
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Please, please, *please* don't keep us in suspense during the next
national tragedy. You know, that shamelessly sly way of construct-
ing sentences with the "teasers" right out in front, a la "we've
just received a report from the Legislative Building, [ slight dra-
matic pause ] which is right around the corner from the Adminstra-
tive Building, [second slight dramatic pause ] where NOTHING HAS
HAPPENED."
Spare us.
How To Be An Idiot, Part 2
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*Believe* generalizations about people based on the actions of a
few.
Things We Feared
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Warning: Contains *more* humor in wake of great tragedy.
Things we feared one week ago:
o sharks
o shark attacks
o losing a winning lottery ticket
o George Bush publicly speaking, bless his heart
o military spending cuts
o social security lock boxes
o Gary Condit never going away
o Jesse Helms retirement as hoax
o boring TV news
o boring talk radio
o too many cell phones
o Anne Heche continuing to make news
o Hilary Clinton for President
o Al Sharpton for President
o Rudy Giuliani forgotten
o jumbo jet crash. Singular.
How To Be An Idiot, Part 3
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All dogs bark.
My dog barks on command.
Therefore, all dogs bark on command.
Copyright 2001 by Michael J. Legeros
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