Living Hell - Volume #1, Issue #11


September 16, 2001


  o FDNY Fatalities
  o Helping Firefighters
  o How To Be An Idiot, Part 1
  o Memo to Tom Brokow et al
  o How To Be An Idiot, Part 2
  o Things We Feared

FDNY Firefighters

Confirmed list of Fire Department New York fatalities, updated as
soon as possible after updates from firehouse.com:

[ Outdated link deleted ]

Helping Firefighters

Banners, ribbons, fundraisers, and flags.  Prayers, condolences,
and moments of silence.  Bowed heads and renewed respect.  But if
you *really* wanna help firefighters-- both in New York and in the
rest of the world-- here's a simple gift that can be given over a
lifetime:  get out of the damn way.  When driving, when meeting a
fire truck en route to a call, let *it* have the right-of-way.  In
1999, notes the National Fire Protection Association (NFPA), 32 of
112 fatal firefighter injuries occurred while responding to or re-
turning from an incident.  And isn't their job dangerous enough al-
ready?  Plus, do you really want *yours* to be the car that delays
firefighters for those final fifteen seconds that a trapped child
could've been successfully rescued and resuscitated?  Think about

How To Be An Idiot, Part 1

Make generalizations about people based on the actions of a few.

Memo to Tom Brokow et al

Please, please, *please* don't keep us in suspense during the next
national tragedy.  You know, that shamelessly sly way of construct-
ing sentences with the "teasers" right out in front, a la "we've
just received a report from the Legislative Building, [ slight dra-
matic pause ] which is right around the corner from the Adminstra-
tive Building, [second slight dramatic pause ] where NOTHING HAS

Spare us.

How To Be An Idiot, Part 2

*Believe* generalizations about people based on the actions of a

Things We Feared

Warning:  Contains *more* humor in wake of great tragedy.

Things we feared one week ago:

  o sharks
  o shark attacks
  o losing a winning lottery ticket
  o George Bush publicly speaking, bless his heart

  o military spending cuts
  o social security lock boxes
  o Gary Condit never going away
  o Jesse Helms retirement as hoax

  o boring TV news
  o boring talk radio
  o too many cell phones
  o Anne Heche continuing to make news

  o Hilary Clinton for President
  o Al Sharpton for President
  o Rudy Giuliani forgotten
  o jumbo jet crash.  Singular.

How To Be An Idiot, Part 3

All dogs bark.

My dog barks on command.

Therefore, all dogs bark on command.

Copyright 2001 by Michael J. Legeros




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