Living Hell - Volume #1, Issue #13



Calling All Dumb Guys!

For a limited time only, Mike Legeros University in Raleigh, NC, is of-
fering mail-order doctoral degrees.  The nationally non-accredited in-
stitution of lower-learning requires zero credit-hours of self-study.
Students are assigned a list of recommended reading and tested psychi-
cally, with academic results and degree notification delivered in the
form of a headache felt immediately upon completion of the final assign-
ment.  Graduates of the Mike Legeros University doctoral program, which
typically takes a couple weeks to complete, are subsequently conferred
the temporary title Doctor of Patience.  For more information, contact
me.  Or consult the curriculum guide and recommended reading list below.

Curricula and Recommend Readings


"Nudi," Paolo Roversi, Editions Stromboli, 1999

See also: Any issue of "Playboy"

Arts and Literature

"The Dictionary of Cultural Literacy," E.D. Hirsch Jr., James S.
 Trefil, and Joseph F. Kett, Houghton Mifflin, 1993

See also: "Wild: Harley Bikes & Babes," Horst Rosler, Goliath, 2000


See: Science Class.


See: Science Class.

Driver's Education

"Bob Bondurant on Police and Pursuit Driving," Bob Bondurant and Edwin
 J. Sanow, Motorbooks International, 2000

English Class

"The F Word," Jesse Sheidlower (editor), Vintage Books, 1995

Foreign Language

"Two Weeks in the Midday Sun: A Cannes Notebook," text and drawings by
 Roger Ebert, Andrews and McNeel, 1987

Gender Studies

"The Von Hoffmann Bros.' Big Damn Book Of Sheer Manliness," Todd Von
 Hoffmann, Brant Von Hoffman, and Colby Allerton, General Publishing
 Group, 1998


"The World's Most Dangerous Places," Robert Young Pelton, Harper
 Information, 2000

Geography, Regional

"Redneck Heaven: Portrait of a Vanishing Culture," Bethany E. Bultman,
 Bantam Books, 1996


"The Virgin Encyclopedia of Heavy Rock," Colin Larkin, Virgin, 1999

See also: "The Big Dig," Dan McNichol, photographs by Andy Ryan,
Silver Lining Books, 2000


"The Merck Manual of Medical Information: Home Edition," Robert Ber-
 kow, Mark H. Beers, Andrew J. Fletcher (editors), Pocket Books, 2000


Paradox Press "Big Book" series:

  o "The Big Book of Bad: The Best of the Worst of Everything,"
     Jonathan Vankin and various illustrators, Paradox Press, 1998

  o "The Big Book of Conspiracies: Allegedly True Tales of Treachery
     From the Information Underground," Doug Moench and various
     illustrators, Paradox Press

  o "The Big Book of Death: If It's About the Hereafter, You'll Find
     It Here," Carlton Bronwyn and various illustrators, Paradox

  o "The Big Book of Freaks: 50 Amazing True Tales of Human Oddities,"
     Gahan Wilson and various illustrators, Paradox Press

  o "The Big Book of Grimm: Truly Scary Fairy Tales to Frighten the
     Whole Family," Brothers Grimm "as channeled by" Jonathan Vankin
     and various illustrators, Paradox Press, 1999

  o "The Big Book of Hoaxes: True Tales of the Greatest Lies Ever
     Told," B. Taggart and various illustrators, Paradox Press, 1996

  o "The Big Book of Little Criminals: 63 True Tales of the World's
     Most Incompetent Jailbirds," George Hagenauer and various
     illustrators, Paradox Press, 1996

  o "The Big Book of Losers: Pathetic-But-True Tales of the World's
     Most Titanic Failures," Paul Kirchner illustrators Paradox Press
     and various illustrators, Paradox Press, 1997

  o "The Big Book of Martyrs: Amazing-But-True Tales of Faith in the
     Face of Certain Death," John Wagner and various illustrators,
     Paradox Press, 1997

  o "The Big Book of Scandal!: Trashy But True Tales From the
     Tawdry Worlds of Celebrity, High Society, Politics, and Big
     Business," Jonathan Vankin and various illustrators, Paradox
     Press, 1997

  o "The Big Book of the '70s," Jonathan Vankin and various illustra-
     tors, Paradox Press

  o "The Big Book of Thugs: Tough-As-Nails True Tales of the World's
     Baddest Mobs, Gangs, and Ne'er-Do-Wells," Joel Rose and various
     illustrators, Paradox Press

  o "The Big Book of the Unexplained: Allegedly True Tales of
     Paranormal Phenomena," Doug Moench and various illustrators,
     Paradox Press,

  o "The Big Book of Urban Legends: 200 Stories Too Good to Be True,"
     Robert Loren Fleming and Robert F. Boyd, Jr. and various illus-
     trators, Paradox Press, 1994

  o "The Big Book of Vice: True Tales of Humanity's Worst Habits,"
     Steve Vance and various illustrators, Paradox Press, 1998

  o "The Big Book of the Weird Wild West: How the West Was Really
     Won," John Whalen, Jonathan Vankin, Rick Klaw and various illus-
     trators, Paradox Press, 1998

  o "The Big Book of Weirdos: True Tales of the World's Kookiest
     Crackpots & Visionaries," Carl Posey and various illustrators,
     Paradox Press, 1995

Home Economics

Any "Idiots Guide" book.

See also:  Any "...For Dummies" volume.

Law and Justice

"NYPD: On the Streets with the Elite Emergency Services Unit," Samuel
 M. Katz, Motorbooks International, 1995

See also: "Batman: The Dark Knight Returns," Frank Miller with Klaus
Janson and Lynn Varley, DC Comics, 1987

Life 101

"Bart Simpson's Guide to Life," Matt Groening, HarperTrade, 1993

See also:

"The Modern Man's Guide to Life," Denis Boyles, Alan Rose, Alan
 Wellikoff, and "a bunch of other guys," Harper & Row, 1987

"The Country Music Guide to Life: Words of Down-Home Wisdom About
 Love, Stardom, Drugs, Raisin' Hell, and Making It from Nashville's
 Biggest Stars," Will N. Maxwell (editor), Penguin Books, 1994

Love and Relationships

"Naked Pictures of My Ex-Girlfriends: Romance in the 70's," Mark Hel-
 frich, Consafos Press, 2000

See also: "The Modern Man's Guide to the Modern Woman," Denis Boyles,
HarperPerennial, 1993


Any old college textbook.  Duh.

Media Studies

"You Are Being Lied To: The Disinformation Guide to Media Distortion,
 Historical Whitewashes, and Cultural Myths," Russ Kick (editor), Ra-
 zorfish Studios, 2001

See also: "Outposts: A Catalog of Rare and Disturbing Alternative In
formation," Russ Kick, Carroll and Graf, 1995

Music Class

"All Music Guide: The Experts' Guide to the Best Recordings from Thou-
 sands of Artists in All Types of Music, Michael Erlewine (editor),
 Scott Bultman, 1992

See also: "A Dictionary of Musical Quotations," Ian Crofton (editor),
Macmillan, 1989


"Taxi Driver Wisdom," Risa Mickenburg, photography by Joanne Dugan,
 Chronicle Books, 1996

Physical Education

"Basic First Aid" by the American Red Cross, any edition.


See: Science Class.

Political Science

"Unarmed But Dangerous: Withering Attacks on All Things Phony, Fool-
 ish, and Fundamentally Wrong with America Today," Hal Crowther,
 Longstreet Press, 1995

See also: "Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot And Other Observations,"
Al Franken, Delacort Press, 1996


"Cheap Psychological Tricks: What to Do When Hard Work, Honesty, and
 Perseverance Fail," Perry Buffington, Peachtree Publishers Limited,


"The Late Night with David Letterman Book of Top Ten Lists," Pocket
 Books, 1990

 See also:

"An Altogether New Book of Top Ten Lists, Pocket Books, 1991

"David Letterman's Book of Top Ten Lists and Zesty Lo-Cal Chicken
 Recipes, Bantam Books, 1995

"David Letterman's New Book of Top Ten Lists and Wedding Dress
 Patterns for the Husky Bride, Bantam Books, 1996

Religion, Optimistic

"Letter to a Man in the Fire: Does God Exist and Does He Care?,"
 Reynolds Price, Simon & Schuster Trade Paperbacks, 2000

Religion, Pessimistic

"The Book Your Church Doesn't Want You to Read," Tim C. Leedom
 (editor), Truth Seeker Company, 1993

See also:

"The Origin of Satan," Elaine H. Pagels, Random House, 1996

"Who in Hell...  A Guide to the Whole Damned Bunch," Sean Kelly and
 Rosemary Rogers (authors of "Saints Preserve Us!), Villard Books,

Science Class

"Absolutely Best Cross-Sections Book Ever," Stephen Biesty, Dorling
 Kindersley, 1999

Sex Education

"The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices," Brenda Love, Barricade
 Books, 1992

See also: any issue of "Penthouse" magazine.

Shop Class

Any "For Dummies" volume.

See also:  Any "Idiots Guide" book.


"What The Odds Are: The A to Z Odds on Everything You Hoped or Feared
 Could Happen," Less Krantz, HarperPerennial, 1992

See also:

"Beating Murphy's Law: The Amazing Science of Risk," Bob Berger, Dell
 Publishing, 1994

"The Book of Risks: Fascinating Facts About the Chances We Take Every
 Day," Larry Laudan, John Wiley & Sons, 1994

About This Fool

Mike Legeros University was formed by Reverend Michael J. Legeros at
the time of writing.  An undistinguished graduate of both high school
*and* college, Reverend Legeros received his since-laminated "Creden-
tials of Ministry" by mail order from the Universal Life Church in
Modesto, CA, in 1991.  Presently, he conducts his theo-illogical and
scholarly studies in, around, and sometimes away from Raleigh, N.C.
And can he can marry people.  (Will conduct wedding ceremonies for

Copyright 2001 by Michael J. Legeros


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