Oscar Review

Geez, was Oscar dull this year. Forget the actual awards-- they were all
"in the bag" to begin with. How excited can you get when the major
category winners are known from the start?

The *real* entertainment was supposed to be the ceremony itself. But
that was a wash. Whoopi Goldberg didn't seem too comfortable, nor did
she have anything worthwhile to say. The few jokes she *did* crack were
the same ones you could hear any *other* night of the week on Letterman.

With the exception of Keith Carradine singing "Wink and a Smile," the
Best Song performances were pretty lame. Disney goes a year without a
new animated feature a look what happens!?!  Oh, to have Jerry Orbach
singing "Be Our Guest" again. At least the opening production number was
remarkably inoffensive. A medley of "world dances," set to the Best
Scores, could've been dropped, though.

The presenters were wholly unremarkable. Kirk Douglas forget one of the
nominations, Clint Eastwood tried to ad-lib, and Elijah Wood had to
share the stage with a dinosaur. Sigh. Where was Jon Lovitz when we
needed him most?

No fashion statements were made last night. Cher was nowhere to be seen
and Goldie Hawn wore a see-through blouse. Or close to it. And Tom
Cruise wandered through needing a shave and a haircut. Maybe his
performance as Lestat will be worth more than two-bits.

Everyone seemed rushed as presenters and accepters tried to hurry their
way through the ceremony. But, until the end, no said anything worth
hearing. Except Tommy Lee Jones, who declared "I am not bald." Oddly,
the ceremony came to life in the final forty-minutes or so. Tom Hanks,
Holly Hunter, and Mr. Spielberg all gave very moving speeches.

But we knew they would.

Copyright 1994 by Michael J. Legeros
Movie Hell is a trademark of Michael J. Legeros