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Pam Grier as a transsexual in ESCAPE FROM L.A.? Ellen Barkin as a Sports Babe sportscaster in THE FAN?? Marlon Brando impersonating a Polynesian circus tent in THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU??? We've had no shortage of strange sights this summer and, yet, none may be as weird as what ends CARPOOL, an excruciatingly dumb kiddie flick that puts five brats and two adults (Tom Arnold and David Paymer) in a minivan and chases them by the police under the guise of a hostage situation. Tom Arnold plays the crazed carnival owner with a gun, while Paymer attempts an exasperated advertising executive. Together, they provide the running commentary during such silly set-pieces as a mosey through the middle of an indoor shopping mall. Groan, he says, remembering that THE BLUES BROTHERS did it first and better. Only in the final reel does CARPOOL warrant a walk-out. A runaway Ferris wheel signals the beginning of the end-- an atrocious two- part finale where the story tries to get serious. Paymer playing Spiderman and climbing a carnival ride is a sight to behold, but none is more strange, more weird, and more utterly unexpected than that of Rod Steiger's grumpy grocery store owner expounding upon the delights of a chocolate donut. Don't ask. The movie is bad, the endings are terrible, and, after a mere ten minutes of screen time, Mr. Steiger has managed to sink even lower than his Cuban- accented turn in the stinky SPECIALIST. Directed by Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences President Arthur Hiller, who proves what Paymer's character says on the subject of carpools: "They're not supposed to be fun." (Rated "PG"/93 min.) Grade: F Copyright 1996 by Michael J. Legeros
Originally posted to triangle.movies in MOVIE HELL: September 2, 1996