Say Good Night, Oscar

     Honk if you stayed awake during the Oscars!  Who could've known
that the high point of the televised evening would be Demi Moore
attempting to act intelligent for Barbara Walters?  The "biggest event
in the world of entertainment" turned out to be a royal snooze and even
*without* the rumored appearance of Princess Di.  She didn't appear once
during the three-and-a-half hour (!) ceremony, but everyone *else* did!
Models, Muppets, and montages were the order of day-- from an elaborate
(and entirely uninteresting) Best Costume fashion show to an extended
bit with Miss Piggy interrupting a "live" feed from Babe, the talking
pig.  Groan.

     Counting for laughs, we watched one of the lamer Oscar ceremonies
in recent years.  Whoopi got off a few good ones in her monologue and
all but called it an evening.  (She dissed Jesse Jackson, bit Bob Dole,
and labeled Pat Buchanan as "the original boy in the hood.") The rest of
the evening was largely unfunny, save for a pair of inspired appearances
by Robin Williams and Jim Carrey.  (Before introducing legendary
animator Chuck Jones, Williams hilariously compared the Republican
presidential candidates to popular Looney Toons characters; later, Jim
Carrey strolled on stage with two TOY STORY dolls, envisioning them as
the characters in MIDNIGHT COWBOY.) The rest of the event was
distressingly dry, save for the occasional amusing bit, such as Nathan
Lane's jaunty jabs at Disney.

     More disappointing was the lack of emotion.  So many plastic people
in that place; so many actors having difficulty with the obviously
scripted (and unusually convoluted) dialogue.  Some of the speeches
registered-- including an exuberant Kevin Spacey, a teary-eyed Mira
Sorvino, and a sincere Susan Sarandon.  Others were cut off, part of the
many glaring technical problems of the evening.  (The gaffes also
included Anjelica Huston's missing microphone and a Best Dramatic Score
envelope that wasn't there!) The *real* moments-- such as an award to
Kirk Douglas and, later, an appearance by Christopher Reeve-- were too
few, this time around.

     With the possible exception of RESTORATION and THE POSTMAN, nobody
won anything that they weren't expected to win.  This year's ceremony
was painfully predictable.  Few said, did, or performed anything
unusual.  (Somebody get David Letterman on the phone, pronto!).  The
production numbers were big, safe, and too polite to hold anybody's
interest.  (Somebody get Rob Lowe on the phone, pronto!).  And then
there were the boobs-- enough ample collective cleavage that even Whoopi
had something to say about it.  The overflowing dresses we can forgive,
but Sharon Stone on stage without a bra??  Even Susan Sarandon must've
known something was up (down?), as she announced the Oscar for "breast
original screenplay." I wonder how the lactose-intolerant viewers

     Say good night, Oscar.

The Winners

   Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
       Nicolas Cage in LEAVING LAS VEGAS 
   Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
       Kevin Spacey THE USUAL SUSPECTS 
   Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
       Susan Sarandon in DEAD MAN WALKING 
   Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
       Mira Sorvino in MIGHTY APHRODITE 
   Achievement in Art Direction
       Art Direction: Eugenio Zanetti
   Achievement in Cinematography
       John Toll
   Achievement in Costume Design
       James Acheson
   Achievement in Directing
       Mel Gibson
   Best Documentary (Feature)
       Jon Blair, Producer
   Best Documentary (Short Subject)
       Kary Antholis, Producer
   Achievement in Film Editing
       APOLLO 13 
       Mike Hill and Dan Hanley
   Best Foreign Language Film of the Year
       ANTONIA'S LINE (The Netherlands)
   Achievement in Makeup
       Peter Frampton, Paul Pattison and Lois Burwell
   Achievement in Music (Original Musical or Comedy Score)
       Music by Alan Menken,Lyric by Stephen Schwartz,Orchestral   
       Score by Alan Menken
   Achievement in Music (Original Dramatic Score)
       Luis Bacalov
   Achievement in Music (Original Song)
       "Colors of the Wind" from POCAHONTAS 
       Music by Alan Menken; Lyric by Stephen Schwartz
   Best Picture of the Year
       Mel Gibson, Alan Ladd, Jr. and Bruce Davey, Producers
   Best Short Film (Animated)
       Nick Park
   Short Film (Live Action)
       Christine Lahti and Jana Sue Memel
   Achievement in Sound
       APOLLO 13 
       Rick Dior, Steve Pederson, Scott Millan and David MacMillan
   Achievement in Sound Effects Editing
       Lon Bender and Per Hallberg
   Achievement in Visual Effects
       Scott E. Anderson, Charles Gibson, Neal Scanlan and John Cox
   Achievement in Writing (Screenplay Written Directly for the  
       Written by Christopher McQuarrie
   Achievement in Writing (Screenplay Based on Material Previously
   Produced or Published)
       Screenplay by Emma Thompson

Originally posted to triangle.movies

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