Dinosaur (2000)

   
DINOSAUR does one thing well.  Er, rather, *did* one thing well.
Disney's gazillion-dollar, special effects-smothered, dawn-of-
time tale left *this* lifelong moviegoer never wanting to see a-
nother damn dino pic as long as he lives.  For family audiences-- 
which is everyone except us cranky critics, no?-- it's probably 
fine.  Maybe more than fine.  You got your gobs of oooh-worthy FX 
(though far fewer gobs than expected), colorfully comfortable
voices, "PG"-rated suspense, a few flashes of adult humor, a nif-
ty depiction of "survival of the fittest" (see this one with a
Creationist!), soaring strings galore, and enough anthropomorphism
(plural?) for *three* standard-issue summer cartoons.  (Who knew
dinosaurs liked to cuddle?)  Mercifully, none of the prehistoric 
title characters either (a.) break into song or (b.) are serenaded
by Randy Newman.  (There is *one* major musical distraction, how-
ever-- those LION KING-sounding African rhythms in James Newton 
Howard's score.)  Such a... relentlessly well-packaged film.  No 
sharp edges.  Nothing odd, unusual, or apple-cart upsetting.  That
is, unless you count the disconcerting effect of hearing Joan
Plowright's British accent emanating from a bronto-sized brachio-
saurus.  (Yeah, I had help looking that one up.)  Heck, the movie
isn't even boring-enough to induce a nap.  It's just there.  Large,
loud, and, for at least one viewer, utterly under-appealing.   And
it'll probably make millions...  With the vocal talents of-- don't
read ahead if you're planning to play Name That Voice!-- D.B. Swe-
eney, Julianna Margulies, Alfre Woodard, Ossie Davis, Della Reese,
Hayden Panettiere, Max Casella, Peter Siragusa, and crabby Samuel
E. Wright.  Eric Leighton and Ralph Zondag direct.  (Rated "PG"/84
min.)

Grade: B

Copyright 2000 by Michael J. Legeros
Movie Hell is a trademark of Michael J. Legeros

Originally posted to triangle.movies in MOVIE HELL: Suckosaurus