Letters to Hell - August 1999



  - A Compliment
  - An Observation
  - Question
  - You Are Missing Out
  - More Questions
  - Comments
  - Complaints
  - Such Command of the Language!
  - Where Did You Grow Up?
  - Not By Me

A Compliment

[ From: Andrew ]
[ Re: Site Frills and Poofy Window Treatments ]

> I adore a cold austere Hell.  
> Content rules.

[ Thanks. ]

An Observation

[ From: Mary in Cary ]

> Saw 8 1/2 as well this weekend.  More dismal than watching it the 
> first time, however many years ago that was.  Wish I'd walked out,
> but I'd talked two friends into going and though maybe they were 
> enjoying it.  They weren't.

[ Sigh. ]

More Questions

[ From: Judy ]
[ Re: Shakespeare ]

> I found your site while looking for the quote "To thine ownself be
> true."  Do you know where I can find this particular text in con-
> text?  I'm a massage therapist and one of my clients could use this 
> quote.

[ Just do a Web search on those words and, aye, there'll be the rub. ]

You Are Missing Out

[ From: Therese in Raleigh ]

> I see you didn't bother to stay for the fun in RUNAWAY BRIDE.  This 
> movie was more fun than anything I've seen in ages.  It was clever, 
> it was funny, it was romantic...  You are missing out on some of the 
> finer on-screen romance around.

[ That I don't don't doubt. ]

More Questions

[ From: Rosalina ] 

> Do you know where HER MAJESTY, MRS. BROWN was shot?

[ From: Aaron ]

> Do you know the name of the song in ANGUS that plays while he and the 
> girl are dancing?

[ From: Joan in Cary ]

> In a previous life (with a different owner), my dog was in a movie
> with Pierce Brosnan.  I'd like to see a list of his movies, prefer-
> ably with plot descriptions, so I can figure out which flick this 
> would be.  Do you know of a site that includes such information?  

[ To all, try the Internet Movie Database, http://us.imdb.com ]


[ From: Kim in Cary ]

> I was *blown away*!  Totally awesome!

[ From: Peg in New Hill ]

> One of the most releasing films I have seen in a *very* long time.

[ From: Steve in Cary ]

> If you like horror films, go see this.  With a very low-budget feel 
> reminiscent of, say, John Sayle's THE RETURN OF THE SEACAUS SEVEN, 
> it terrifies by *not* showing you things-- the production budget 
> couldn't afford special effects and on-camera gore.  (There's one 
> instance of blood on-camera.)  The film has an underlying sense of 
> dread reminiscent of the first half of DELIVERANCE, or THE HAUNTING 
> OF HILL HOUSE.  The good version with Roddy McDowell, that is.

[ Remind me to rent it. ]


[ From: MD ]

> You give the dumbest reviews.  WES CRAVEN'S NEW NIGHTMARE was an ex-
> cellent movie.  You should just keep your stupid reviews to yourself 
> because I don't see you starring in any movies.  You think you know 
> it all when you don't know jack s**t!  

[ From: DJ ]

> Your review sucked.  FEAR OF A BLACK HAT is a hilarious film.  In 
> fact it is my favorite film of all time.  The reason you probably 
> didn't find it funny is because you are white.

[ I'm white!?!? ]

Such Command of the Language!

[ From: M.C. ]

> r u retarded?  u gave scream a c+, and AMERICAN PIE the same.  u 
> better check your weed.

[ From: B.I.F. ]

> so unimaginative is your taste, that you could not see the *scream-
> ing* message that BULWORTH sought.  Sometimes u need to take some-
> thing at face value and remember that we're all here as ='s.

[ ok ]

Where Did You Grow Up?
[ From: Mika ] 

> I would like to ask you where you grew up?  I mean you seem to think 
> that Lorenzo Carcaterra was making that story up and I have to dis-
> agree.  True stories don't usually have a lot of suspense.  And 
> everyone seems to think that this movie should be more exciting and, 
> since it's not, it's apparently a poorly-written lie. I think that 
> this story is very much true.  I don't exactly know why you think 
> that it isn't.

[ As I recall, there was some speculation that the author fudged a few 
  facts. ]

Not By Me
[ From: Jon ]

> > In particular, I wondered where the locations were, in relation to 
> > each other.  Did the family live in town?  Or at the edge of a 
> > swamp?  And how far was the road from the house??
> From what I could tell in the movie, the town of Eve's Bayou itself 
> was quite large, spanning not only the "urban" area that Roz and Moz-
> elle visited in the middle of the movie, but also the entire Batiste 
> Plantation, which from a historical prospective, could easily span 
> hundreds to even thousands of acres.  Since the narration in the be-
> ginning of the film explains how Jean Paul Batiste was healed by the 
> herbal medicine of the original Eve, a slave-- probably a house 
> slave.  Thus, he, he like most land owners of the time, would own 
> vast amounts of land.  When she saved his life, she was freed, and 
> given *all* of that land.  The town itself was probably built by the 
> descendants of the other slaves, since if Eve owned all the land, 
> what would they do with all the other slaves?  Plus she had sixteen 
> kids with her former master-turned-husband, so they needed all that 
> land anyway. 
> This reasoning would help to explain the near legendary, privileged, 
> almost royal-like status given to the family in the movie.  The town 
> was for the "common" folk, and was on one section of the land, and 
> there was the other section, for the Batiste Plantation Home, Moz-
> elle's house, the Church, and the Batiste cemetery. I say this be-
> cause all those listed areas have one thing in common.  They are 
> *all* away from the rest of the town.  The only visible road from the 
> Batiste house is a dirt road that seems to come from behind the 
> house, around the right side of the house-- your left as you face the 
> house from the front-- and then it turns to cut across the front 
> "yard" of the house. 
> Tracing the road from the house to the rest of the town requires some 
> imagination at this point, but since it was possible to walk to town, 
> it's not too hard to imagine.  That road probably goes on from the 
> main residence to Mozelle's house.  Hint: Watch after the party the 
> direction Mozelle pulls off with Harry to. R emember I said the road 
> went around the right side of the house?  Well in that scene, you are 
> looking at Mo' from the prospective of the kid's (Ciesly and Eve) and 
> they were on the porch.  This would put your back towards the house, 
> instead of you facing the house.  Your right would be the house's 
> right now, so you could get your bearing from there.  That black 
> Caddy was pointed to the right.  Same thing near the end, when Louis 
> and Roz were taking Ciesly away for a while.  Louis' Imperial was 
> pointed more to the right as Mozelle and Eve watched from the porch. 
> One last note: when Eve was in a funk after Ciesly, Louis, and Roz 
> left earlier that day, Mozelle tried to comfort her by saying that 
> maybe Louis got caught in traffic, and that's why he was taking so 
> long.  Eve responded curtly: "it's Sunday!!"  Does this imply that 
> Eve's Bayou has "rush hours" Monday through Friday!?

[ And I thought *I* was an attentive moviegoer!
  Good night everybody! ]

Copyright 1999 by Michael J. Legeros
Movie Hell is a trademark of Michael J. Legeros

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